I am not used to staying up like this...LOL I-I am about to crash. But I started this after discovering a huge poster board in the basement and had to finish it although I am starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to send it..I HAVEN'T DRAWN IN MONTHS AND AM OUT OF PRACTICE DO NOT JUDGE ME



p.s. actually looks pretty in person

p.p.s. Merry Early Christmas Eve Day!

I've been feeing sick all week and somehow keep falling further and further behind in my schoolwork though I swear its all I've been doing

that, and painting 9x4 feet canvases and feeling my eyes burn until ten at night, giving me just half an hour to pull my stuff together before going to bed at my designated time .___.

can't go on the computer until the musical's over and I bring up that grade in physical science which = losing a friend : /


ohhh weelll that's life


lol winter

A big discussion had me thinking. What do you wish you could change about DA? Or what do you wish would happen? Would you like the settings different, would you wish some of the crummiest things wouldn't make the front page when there are other images with so much more heart in them? Do you wish people would recognize you more, or have more insightful comments? Do you wish you could draw your original things and keep your audience? Do you wish more people would pay attention to your journals? That people wouldn't accuse others of copying just because they share a similar style? Do you wish people knew how to keep hateful comments to themselves, critique without looking like a jerk, or that more people would make an effort to reply?

I personally wish there were no such thing as pageviews or favorites. It's kind of like a reminder or something that keeps track about how awesome you are or how much you suck XD

why do i feel so alone on deviantart



edit: ....D: okay now that I've posted this journal it seems like people are alive

So rainy and gloomy! My first day of summer vacation has to be dreary of course haha. If I somehow got married and the day of the wedding fell on a day where it drizzled and rained the whole time, I would just postpone it e__e Seriously. I went to a wedding next door and it was almost hilariously depressing. The bride was chubby and twice as tall as her groom. The priest was gay and two little kids running up and down the aisle laughing and yelling killed the ceremony. The chapel seemed too dark and I've discovered I hate stain glass windows because they make rooms way too dim. If I had a wedding, I'd want it to be somewhere open, bright and warm!

My sister and I were the only girls wearing dull skirts and sweaters. All the others had pretty dresses. We were also the only ones who couldn't eat until everyone had like...thirds of their meal because we were in charge of maintaing the amount of food laid out. The food reception was like...held in the cellar of the church LOL.

My brother who everyone says looks just like me (and yet he gets all these nice compliments about how attractive he is whereas I don't) came later and one of the bridesmaids grinned at him and said "There's my little boyfriend!"

But the bride pinned a white flower to my sweater and called me Sadie with the Long Lashes which was pretty cool I guess
They didn't have cake, but they had two monstrous boxes filled with white and pink cupcakes. They had little edible shavings of silver on them, and two silver rings ouo I got to stack and mix them around their saucer towers. I also ate two and kept the rings but >.> [link] I have old lady hands ewwww

The last wedding I remember going to was fancy. It was held at a huge hotel with a beautiful lake and the reception was amazing and then the sun started to set and the music was lovely and D: > this memory is like...inspiring me to draw something with a wedding theme ajfklsa I don't know xDDDD I wish I had a camera. I love taking photos of little things I do in everyday life because they're fun to look back on.

I think I might post something someday at sometime but I can never be too sure. I must learn how to draw again. I must also learn how to draw for...myself? You guys do realize that when I used to draw FMA things, most of it was only for the popularity because I was an attention whore? But gee wilikers, if I posted something the majority of my watchers DIDN'T like, no one would look!

I think we all have that problem. Some of us forget how to draw for ourselves and what makes us happy because we worry too much over the attention it won't receive. You like...train your mind only to draw what satisfies others, and that factor alone reduces the quality.


afjffffff I keep rambling and this journal is already too long xDD;